Why don’t I feel normal? I know it’s still early, but I thought that once I started doing normal things – eating, working, going out – that I would feel like I was getting into my routine, into my life, back to normal. But I don’t, I feel uncomfortable and unsettled. I have been working so hard to get my body readjusted and healthy again, I wonder if emotionally I’m just way far behind. Some of it I know is thinking about my Dad and starting to cope, in earnest, with losing him. But it’s more than that – I know I didn’t have brain surgery, but I honestly feel (and this sounds ridiculous in my head as I am typing) – I feel like a part of my personality was in my stomach. And that part got cut out too, and now I don’t feel like me. I’m different, it’s different, everything has changed. And boy I wish the pathologist could find whatever I lost on one of his slides, but I don’t think it’s quite that easy.
(a few days later)
Well what do you know. Many thanks to Mom’s friend Stephanie for sending me the following article on the enteric nervous system and the science behind why I might feel like I lost a bit of my personality as one would during brain surgery. Definitely check it out, it’s fascinating: The Other Brain Also Deals With Many Woes
By Brian Chelcun